So I just coding some transperson porn for reliability today and what do I learn?! The best word for a MTF penis ever: pussy stick. Sometimes the best things in life really are free from pornhub.com.
In science you have to do this thing called “explicating,” which is basically creating an exhaustive definition of every single concept you are studying. For the porn study we are researching a bunch of shit which translates to a bunch of flipping explicating.
Here are some things my adviser and I explicated this week:
Physical vs. verbal aggression
Gay for pay
Docking vs frotting
MTF and FTM
There were a few other explication debates but these are the ones that stuck with me. We honestly had at least a 5 minutes conversation about whether or not a man’s chest should be included in “private area.” We had to explain just what consent in porn looked like. And I personally created a six-sentence description of what pubic hair is and how to code.
This may not look like it to most people but for me this week was #success.
You know how people say #foodporn when they get really got for amazing food or #bookporn if they drool over some good lit. Well my substitute is#pornresearchporn. I just found the most beautiful study on male v female porn directors and can’t help but feel that special excited feeling in my gut. Is this what it means to be an academic?
Today is gorgeous in Bloomington. Today I’m grateful I had to wake up at 7am, that is is lightly snowing that , that I have hot freshly ground coffee, this expensive smart phone to listen to some quasi hipster jams, that I get paid to learn and teach something I love, that I study something I think is valuable and can improve people’s lives, that Bloomington felt like home faster than any place I’ve ever lived before, that I have an amazing community here, that i started out hating this statue and now i love it. Today grad school seems like a blessing. Something that needs to be said since way to often I’m complaining about this blessing.
Sometimes watching a bunch of porn sucks and sometimes you find some amateurs having sex to Alanis Morrissette and then life makes sense again.
New equation for life: Fever + Porn= Nightmares
I scheduled my vacation a week short with intent; I had porn to watch, lots and lots of porn to watch. So I decided I would get two weeks completely free from school work in exchange for one week back to IU early to focus on getting reading for the “porn study.” Yes I rationed myself a full week of watching and coding the delightful mainstream pornography of xvideos for a content analysis my adviser has been working on for over a year.
And then of course, I got wretchedly sick, with a fever and everything. Through my meds and fever I tried to just comprehend the porn I was coding. All I remember is some crazy dreams and muttering “Why do they keep spitting! Why are they spitting! Stop spitting!”
By the end of the week, I was back to 98 degrees and more able to control my disgust but here is the thing that has stayed with me after my first week of practice coding: porn is fucking weird, like bad dream inducing weird. You would think going into this field and having partaken of my fair share of the content I would know this but I didn’t realize it until I was forced to watch 20 randomly selected mainstream porn videos from start to painfully messy end.
Only now do I realize I, like most people, don’t watch most porns in their entirety. We skip around for what we like. And in skipping what I do I fast forward through? Well a lot of spitting, quite a bit of face fucking, some truly terrible fake moaning and yes the right in the kisser cum shot. It is horrifying but also kind of validating. I know now how important this study is to do. We all have these preconceived notions of what porn is out there based on what we watch but as this study is proving to me, there is a whole lot more spitting than this vanilla lady ever realized.
Porn Lesson #1: You’d be shocked to learn what you fast forward through. So much spitting.