Buying Condoms for the 1st Time

Sometimes I can’t believe I get paid (although not well) to write about these kinds of things! Recently I had my very first trip to the family planning aisle at CVS. The adventure was informative, overwhelming and in the end made me understand that we really don’t have very much understanding of our co-genders safe sex accessories.

Any tinge of excitement about purchasing my first condoms quickly dissolved to pure intimidation when I saw the sheer volume of options and ridiculous prices. Am I the only sad sack who didn’t know condoms, on average, are about $1 a pop?

I quickly passed over anything textured, because to be honest that stuff is a pointless gimmick. I vetoed the spermicide ones because those aren’t any more effective than normal condoms, plus they taste gross and can do some damage if you have sensitive lady parts. I glossed over the overpriced foreign condoms because, you know, America. That left me with a lovely purple box of lubricated Durex. Now all I had to decide is do I go for the normal 30 pack or spring for the value option.

Read more here 

STFU about women’s short hair

Recently some bro-tastic dude said on some frat-rageous blog that Jennifer Lawrence’s short hair made is man bits shrivel up and weep. And most people ignored him as a troll. But as an owner of on spunky head of short hair, I know this dude’s penis-priveledged opinions are all too common and really effing annoying. Luckily the RedEye agreed and they let me write a lovely opinion column today. Pixie Power! Below is a little snippet…

“But for plenty of other women, their haircut has nothing to do with a stereotypically strict sexual allure. Their haircuts are for them, not for the world, and certainly not for penises that are prone to wilt at the sight of an earlobe. They chose their pixies or straight bangs or asymmetrical cuts to create an image who they are. Their hair reflects a part of their identity that is not just sexual.  This may be the hardest thing for frat bro and our society to understand: that a woman is not defined by her sexuality, nor is she defined by what others think of her sexuality or the sex-factor of her hair cut.”

Read more at http://www.redeyechicago.com/news/ct-red-1120-p4-20131119,0,6989972.story#bLXWosXAmi3RkdFg.99

cue cute jennifer lawrence photo…..